We are all aware the world is full of toxic waste but the world is also full of Toxic Hope. And
we are not even aware of it, yet it is the far deadlier of the two. We all live in hope to some
extent and we all believe that hope is a positive outlook but is it? Too much hope is pure
poison. This poisoning occurs because hoping does nothing except keep you hanging on.
Endlessly, in some cases. The longer the duration of hoping, the more toxic it becomes
due to the emotions draining away like sludge down a pipe. But still we keep on hoping.
And praying. But nothing changes. And toxicity of the soul is the result. It is a disease and
it is rampant.
We all have friends (or family) and we have seen them experience relationship troubles
and watched as the hoping begins in earnest. They hope for some magical improvement
or wonderful change in their partner. And we all fall into this same toxic trap due to money
difficulties or when we have taken the wrong direction and can’t find our way back. We
hope, without even knowing we are doing it. Some definitions of hope: “reasonable
grounds for this feeling;” “wish for a future event;” “there is still hope”. Hopeful is defined
as “giving or inspiring hope” or “on the brink of success”. When there is absolutely no hope
we still remain hopeful.
Perhaps the most important step you can take when you sense that you are living in false
hope is simply to analyse the extent of your hoping as well as noting the time frame. If you
have been hoping for over 2 years then the toxicity is well and truly bubbling away and
slowly destroying your life.
Do you identify with any of these scenarios?
Hoping he (or she) will stop their heavy drinking.
Hoping my weight gain will stop.
Hoping he or she will stop being so aggressive or angry.
Hoping I’ll find that perfect job with a huge salary.
Hoping the gambling will stop and we’ll save some money
Rather than “living in hope” for years and years as some people do, you would be much
better off accepting that the situation is “HOPELESS” (“unable to learn or function’’) and
make some drastic changes. If you don’t, toxic hope will permanently poison you. But if
you ascertain the situation is horrible and you have suffered long enough then make the
changes. Painful it may be but it won’t kill you. The simple rule is: the longer the hoping
has endured, the greater the poison.
We have a friend who hoped and prayed for 9 years while her husband drank and
gambled their savings away. In all that time she hoped he would change. A classic case of
Toxic Hope. They lost their house. Lost hope. He wouldn’t (couldn’t) change. You have to
change the situation. You. The only thing you have control over is you. Make those
changes. And HOPE it works!
John A Wilson, August 2013
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