I was rather reluctantly, attempting to write yet another story yesterday, when I used the
phrase “I felt as uncomfortable as a dingo in a cat show.” Was this a quotation I’d read
previously or is it original? Over the years I’ve gathered thousands of quotations but after
searching through them, I couldn’t find any reference to the dingo line above. The beauty,
wit and wisdom of quotations is extraordinary. Here are just a few from my collection for
your amusement (or irritation).
MONEY:
True! You can’t take it with you, but that’s not the place where it comes in handy.
Don’t wait for your ship to come in; swim out to it.
If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.
Wealth is not what you have –it’s what you are. The greatest investment you will ever
make is in yourself.
Money can’t buy you happiness. But it can buy you a yacht so you can tie up next to it.
I started out with nothin’ and I ain’t got much left. (Title of a Blues LP)
The first rule of poker is when you are about to play, look around the table and identify the
sucker. If you can’t see one, get up and leave, because you’re it.
LOVE:
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had. (Erica Jong)
If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk forever in my garden. (Alfred
Lord Tennyson)
Love is a Marvellous, Beautiful, Mysterious thing.
Relationship secret: find someone you don’t hate.
If you are afraid of loneliness, don’t marry. (Anton Chekhov)
Hope is the last thing ever lost. (Italian proverb)
Love is not a destination. It is a way of travelling. The way.
The quieter you become, the more you can hear. The more you love, the more you will be
loved. (Baba Ram Das)
Jealousy is weakness.
Love is a lot like a garden. It needs to be looked after and nurtured to give great beauty.
Love at its purist means never giving up. And who would want to, for life without
love......... (A Holt)
To love is to have that extraordinary feeling of affection without asking anything in return.
If love cannot help you into meditation, then nothing will help. (B S Rajneesh)
He will think about her until he dies. He’ll think about her while he dies. (N Zuckerman)
The love of a good dog. That’s all you need.
HAPPINESS/LONELINESS/FRIENDSHIP
Go to heaven for the climate. Go to hell for the company.
There are two kinds of egotists: those who admit it and the rest of us. (Laurence Peter)
I would rather wake-up in the middle of nowhere than in any city on earth. (Steve
McQueen)
It’s the friends you can call at 4am who really matter. (Marlene Dietrich)
Be careful of what you become, in the pursuit of what you want. (E James Rohn)
A melancholy lesson of advancing years is the realisation that you can’t make old friends.
(Christopher Hitchens)
Happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, worn, collected or consumed. Happiness is the
spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude.
SPORT:
Every fairway leads to heaven.
When riding a wave, you exist only on that wave. (J Wilson)
Develop the attitude of a warrior. Train your body and your mind. (M D Rowland)
The Zone, it was as if a blanket of peace and silence was thrown over me. (Roger
Federer)
I never make predictions, particularly about the future. (Yogi Berra, US coach)
You don’t grow old. You grow lazy. (Unknown 79 year old stuntman)
There is only self- discipline. Any other form of discipline is a false trail. (M D Rowland)
They say golf is like life. Don’t believe them. Golf is much more complicated than that.
(Gardner Dickenson)
He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle. (Radio commentator)
Don’t dedicate your life to training. Dedicate your training to your life. (J Wilson)
One of the most dangerous places on earth: England on a Saturday afternoon after
soccer matches.
The six “P”s of a sporting life: Passion, Preparation, Purpose, Patience, Pride, Punctuality.
(But how did they leave out Persistence?)
LIFE:
Man has no other destiny than the one he forges for himself.
We live longer these days; it gives us more time to be unhappy. (M Rowbotham)
Life is a see-saw. Ups and downs, a few level bits if you’re lucky.
What a wonderful life I’ve had! I just wish I had realised it sooner. (Colette)
It is so. It cannot be otherwise. (On a cathedral wall in Holland)
Even I don’t wake up looking like Cindy Crawford. (C Crawford)
Life is mainly froth and bubble/
Two things stand alone/
Kindness in another’s trouble/
Courage in your own.
(Adam Lindsay Gordon)
Every path has its puddle.
It is sad to grow old. But nice to ripen. (B Bardot)
Not a shred of evidence exists that life is serious. (Brendan Gill)
The pain of discipline is so much better than the pain of regret.
A leader is a dealer in hope. (Napoleon B)
Blessed are the cracked... for they let in more light! (Spike Milligan)
Anyone can have an off decade. (Larry Cole)
You must become the Producer, Director, Writer and Actor in the unfolding story of your
life. (Wayne Dyer)
Treasure the joys and accept the hurts. (Moya Wilson)
Life is not a rehearsal.
Those who have no inner life are a prisoner of their own surroundings.
Don’t forget the Eleventh Commandment: “Thou shalt laugh. Especially at Thyself.”
Flowers are better than bullets. (Allison Krause)
It is better to die for a cause, because you can so easily die for nothing. (Andrew Young)
SEX and COMEDY:
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful. (Mae West)
Scratch a lover. Find a foe. (Dorothy Parker)
Somebody is boring me. I think it’s me. (Dylan Thomas)
Is it cold in here or is it just you?
Autobiography is only to be trusted if it reveals something disgraceful. (George Orwell)
The worst sex I ever had was........wonderful! (Woody Allen)
Analysing humour is like dissecting a frog- few people are interested and the frog dies! (E
B White)
What is the difference between sinners and saints? Some are forgiven and some ain’t!
I used to kiss you on the lips but now it’s all over. (C & W song)
I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening—but this wasn’t it! (Groucho Marx)
SUCCESS:
Success is ninety nine per cent failure. (Soichiro Honda)
All you need in life is ignorance and confidence and then success is certain.
There ain’t no rules here! We’re trying to accomplish something! (Thomas Edison)
Shallow men believe in luck. (Ralph W Emerson)
For things to get better, you have to get better. (James E Rohn)
Imagination is better than knowledge. (Albert Einstein
Here I am at fifty eight and I still don’t know what I am going to do when I grow up. (P F
Drucker)
ZEN (MIND):
In Zen, everything is in the doing – not the contemplating.
To know and not do ....is really not to know at all.
Before Enlightenment there is chop wood, carry water.
After Enlightenment there is chop wood, carry water.
When we quieten the mind a symphony begins.
Of all the thirty six alternatives, running away is best.
Knowing is not enough: we must apply.
Willing is not enough: we must do.
There is no there. There is only here.
So just remember ......
There is no need to struggle.
There is no need to fight.
There is no need to win.
You only need to know.
(Confucius)
Oscar Wilde, considered by many to be the wittiest man who ever lived, was challenged in
1894 to prove how fast and funny he actually was without any opportunity for preparation.
A panel set the agenda: they would choose random subjects and Wilde would have twenty
seconds to create a witticism. The first subject chosen was “The Queen.” The response
from Wilde came in one and a half seconds, “The Queen is not a subject.” The panel
retired.
John A Wilson, Gold Coast, November 2016
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