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Email to Mark

Sent: Sunday 16 November 2008

To: Mark Partridge

Subject: General Rubbish


Hello there Marco and wot a surprise to hear from you! And such a long email as well ...I

can’t possible compete with that kind of typing speed— this little bit has already taken me

14 minutes! And don’t you hate spell checks—there it is glaring at me telling me that “wot”

is spelt incorrectly. I want it is spelt that way! So now I’ve done it! There are alarms on 3

wots, err now four! This could go on and on!

So it’s a little bit cold and wet at this time of year in the UK. Boy, doesn’t that bring back

memories! I didn’t mind winter so much in London. I didn’t have a fridge at one time so all

I had to do was put the milk outside on the window ledge. Which reminds me of the

novelty of having an “iron cow” just down the road. That vending machine was a

revelation! Just put 20p in the slot and the cow would give you a pint of milk! It was

always open and always had lots of milk. I used it so often! Do you still have them?

Maybe I should try to market them here?


Instead of dark and cold we are facing a very nasty storm front. Which is great as the

weather has been extremely humid and sticky and this will cool it down. Thunder just

thundered mightily. Almost shook the planet!!! I love these tropical storms—so

spectacular!

Everything is going ok with us (apart from my typing!) Strictly Bridal was a little quieter in

June and July but Oct was the biggest month ever for us. Ann, by the way, has just won

Qld Bridal Couture Gown of the Year. She is very stoked as it increases her reputation as

a designer. All the press and TV “experts” keep telling us every bloody night how much

better Aust. is placed to get through these “difficult times”..... Global financial crisis it sure

is! We are just hopeful that people will continue to get married even if the planet is falling

to bits! (It’s pouring now! Did you notice? Bucketing!)

Wish I could be a yoga teacher like you Mark. It’s true. I have lost a lot of weight in the

last 5 hours (haha) as I’ve sat here typing away. Wot really worries me is that my hours of

typing are read in 3 minutes or so and then committed to the bin. Delete. Gone. Once

upon a time, around the world, people used to treasure my letters (I think they did!) and

look forward to the next one. Some even said they were saving them for their kids! (just

kidding). And NOW? In the bin in 55secs and forgotten for ever.

Good luck Mark with the childrens book. Didn’t Ms Rowling have 56 rejections before

Harry Potter was published. I submitted an 80,000 word book titled How to Travel for Free

(Hitchhiking guide) to numerous London publishers but gave up after I started receiving

rejection slips followed by notes saying “Never send us anything again”. So I went

travelling instead.

Feels like I have been typing for 15 hours! I’m hungry and exhausted. Far too much

excitement in this writing. So Mark and Heiling, you don’t know how lucky you are that I

have emailed you within a week. Lucky that I have emailed you at all! Why can’t you live

down the road somewhere so that I could just call in for a g’day chat and a cuppa! I’d

really enjoy that! ALL THE BEST! LOVE FROM US.


John, Ann and the rest of us, November 2018



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