Take my advice and never ask anyone for advice. And never be guilty of giving it either!
When was the last time you took someone’s advice? When a friend , with all good intentions, says “ You should be doing this”, they are actually criticising you for not already doing it. They are saying “I know better than you, you jerk, so do as I suggest”. Like it or not, we get advice shoved at us all and every day: use this insurance company, don’t smoke because, reduce your sugar intake, try to drink less.
I’ve been receiving advice bombs all my life. Granted, I really do look like I need help but why do so many presume they know what I should be doing, better than I do? I can’t remember how many experts or how many times I was advised to “settle down” or “don’t give up that job”. I really must look like “a loser” who needs advice as so many give it. And without me asking. The old adage “if I haven’t asked you for advice, then I really don’t want it” rings so true.
The worst offenders on giving advice seem to be those who have made a dollar or three. Now they feel so clever and superior they are more than happy to hand out advice on how to run the country, how to end the Middle East trouble and which footy coaches should be sacked. More advice. Free advice. Is anyone out there listening?
Even when someone asks you for advice, don’t give it because they really don’t want it. Asking for advice is really thinking out loud, isn’t it? See, there I go again, asking for advice!
Perhaps it’s because I have two adult children who aren’t in jail or using drugs, but I am often asked for advice (strange how some friends hand out advice and the next group ask me for advice). Sorry. No. I don’t do advice anymore. People don’t take it and if they do act on it they’ll blame you if the relationship goes septic or for accepting that dead-end job. So what is advice for if not to have someone else to blame if plans don’t work out? (I’ll have to get advice on this!)
I asked twenty friends and associates “when was the last time you gave advice or acted on advice given to you?”
Invariably they had sorry tales of a waste of time or a waste of breath.
I just wish someone had given me some good advice before I got married as it cost me the 2 houses I owned before I got married. But, of course, I wouldn’t have listened. So, all I can say is take my advice and stay away from all those advisors with real estate advice, financial advice, emotional advice and simply be guided by your own intuition. At least you’ll have no-one else to blame.
John A Wilson, November 2014
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