I. THOU SHALT LEARN THAT HAPPINESS IS THE GOAL.
Success and happiness is not the same thing. All successful people are not happy and
all happy people are not successful. Our society is largely built on attaining financial
and sporting success which often excludes satisfaction and personal happiness. So
many people with money are miserable. Happy people smile a lot and cause others to
smile. Smiles are contagious and engaging. And it is your choice each time someone
speaks to you: you can be bright or dark. Smiles and happiness go hand in hand and
we all love to be around happy, smiling faces and we avoid serious, morbid,
expressionless people. Smiles cost nothing and we hand them out to family, friends
and strangers. When you’re smiling, the whole world smiles with you. A great cliché
but so true. Do it all day and every day and you will find yourself high on the happiness
hill.
II. THOU MUST BE GRATEFUL AND THOU MUST EXPRESS IT.
Gratitude simply means counting your blessings and being thankful for everything
you’ve received. Gratitude shifts your focus from what your life lacks and turns it to the
richness you already possess. Recently conducted research showed that students
who were most grateful have more friends and higher grades. It also showed that one
of the best cures for materialism is to make someone grateful for what they already
possess. Being grateful doesn’t require us to become “warm and fuzzy” but it teaches
us to be thoughtful, reflective and more creative. Gratitude is not a once a year salute
to someone but something that should be built into our daily and weekly attitude.
Practice, and you will see blessings everywhere. It will make you happier and better
liked and your life will become enhanced. But feeling gratitude and not expressing it is
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like wrapping a present and not giving it. So let your family, friends, co-workers, suppliers
etc know you are grateful for them. Gratitude will turn a simple meal into a feast, a house
into a home. Be grateful for every meal, every win, each beautiful moment, for each day
and for having a clean, warm bed. As soon as you turn on your “gratitude light” you will
benefit. Your life will become golden as a result.
III. THOU SHALT TEACH YOUR CHILDREN TO FAIL.
Failure is never desirable but it is inevitable. The traditional approach of teaching your
children to always succeed is disastrous. The best way to learn is to fail again and again.
One of the greatest inventors, Thomas Edison, used to say “I failed my way to success.”
Michael Jordan, the great basketballer, failed to score 39,000 times which was many more
misses than scores. Even if you fail repeatedly you won’t be defeated until you view
yourself as a failure. So don’t waste the experience of failing. Learn from it each time. The
secret of success is learning to transfer any unsuccessful experience from stumbling
blocks to stepping stones. Teach your children to persevere. Try again. Then again. Then
again. Just be a bit smarter each time. The latest mantra to become masterful at
something is “do it 10,000 times”.
IV. THOU SHALT LEARN THAT “ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”.
If you were planning to cross a desert on foot you would carry only enough to sustain you.
Enough water. Enough food. Too much and you won’t have the strength and energy to
survive. When you are dining it is very easy to over-order, to load your plate, to have a few
more drinks. The difficulty is learning that this doctrine of “enough” applies to everything in
our lives. Enough clothes, enough groceries, enough wine, enough CDs, enough
appliances, enough bedrooms. Over-indulging in any area of your life is wasteful and
expensive. The Law of Enough recognizes that materialism and consumerism doesn’t
make you happier. Less is more when it comes to “stuff”. Your body and your mind will
reward you as you limit yourself. It is said that what is stored in your garage or shed is a
reflection of your mind. Are you stuffed full of “stuff”? If you are, the time for change is
here. Rid yourself of all the junk in your shed and in your life. Start travelling lightly. And
travel further as a result.
V. THOU SHALT LEARN TO BE YOURSELF.
Society is doing a great job of turning us all into clones. There is a current fear of being
different and it is very pervasive. This cloning results in sadness, frustration and a feeling
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of being submerged. But there is an inner-voice in each of us and it keeps whispering to
us that our genuine personality is being squashed and left unexpressed. If you continually
conform you’ll disappear altogether. Don’t you feel the duty to be yourself? You are
unique. Work very hard at being yourself. Be the best “you” that you can manage. Assert
your personality and grow into you. The danger is if you follow the trend you will become
another store-dummy or another media clone with the same hair and toothpaste smile.
Plastic clones are everywhere just like the plethora of boy bands. The clones are even
using the same language: “Absolutely”, “at the end of the day”, “the reality is”, “110
percent”, “moving forwards”. Sound familiar? Avoid them. Be yourself and find your own
words. You’ll like yourself more, and not surprisingly, others will too.
VI. THOU SHALT LEARN THAT “IF ONLY” ARE THE TWO SADDEST WORDS YOU’LL
EVER USE.
The phrase “If only” is full of regret. It is pinpointing all the things you failed to do. “If only I
had tried to get that job”; “If only I had tried harder”; “If only I had done as I was asked”. It’s
sad because an opportunity has passed and you lacked the confidence or courage
required at the time. There is also the syndrome of “If only I hadn’t been drink-driving” or
“If only I hadn’t put myself into that dangerous situation”; again, it’s more regret. It is so
important that we learn as soon as possible that the actions we take (or fail to take) will
forever be there as reminders of our foolishness or arrogance. Let us not live our lives
regretting all the things we should have done .There’s enough regret in our lives for the
things we got wrong without adding a suitcase of additional regrets. The answer to
overcoming “if only” is found by action.
VII. THOU SHALT CHOOSE YOUR IDOLS VERY CAREFULLY. Scratch a tin God and
you’ll find a worthless idol. Do we measure our society by our chosen heroes and idols?
We certainly do and in Australia it seems that we have sporting heroes who are constantly
failing us. Drunk, stupid, aggressive NRL and AFL players are the most prominent and too
many to mention. Drug cheats? Of course. We do well in that category. Australian heroes
are thin on the ground so it’s time we looked carefully at our choices. Swimming stars and
bike riders? Are these guys a mirror of us? There is strong evidence that we have become
a bruised and doubting nation in the last few years. We need (almost desperately) to find
some uplifting heroes. This applies equally to our politicians. Who amongst them all can
inspire us? Tin gods are worthless. Sporting gods, who are all too often almost incapable
of expressing themselves as well as 10 year olds, are worthless also. It is time we
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searched instead for the quiet achievers in creative areas and sciences. Men and women
we can admire and trust and love. So many of them are humble, humorous and
honourable. The opposite of the sports stars. Hail our heroes. Just be certain we choose
the right ones.
VIII. THOU SHALT LEARN TO MEDITATE.
There is nothing mysterious about meditation. It is simply mental training. It is the path to
happiness yet so few take the steps to it. Meditation has been practiced for over 2500
years but we are slow to recognize its treasures. Here we have a clear path to Calmness,
to Clarity and to Happiness. Again we think it is better and easier to open a bottle. So this
commandment urges you to train your brain. The benefits are lasting and increase with
duration of time. And it is so easy. You sit comfortably and breathe. Breathe as though
your life depends on it (ha ha). Your life will benefit from just a few regular minutes a day.
The greatest happiness is in simply Being. Depression continues to gather pace as one of
the nations (and worlds) leading health problems. So, you need to meditate. The answer
is not in your phone. No good looking there. The answer is within. Learn to meditate.
IX. THOU SHALT LEARN THAT GOOD PARENTING TAKES MORE THAN 10 MINUTES
A DAY.
Families have to figure out, and in a hurry, that good parenting is not just being together
under the same roof. It’s not just being in the vicinity. Having mobile or texting contact isn’t
parenting. That’s for acquaintances. To keep your kids on track you have to spend time
with them. Lots of time. Talking time and experience time. It’s not “quality time”. It’s
together time. The happiest families are those who have shared lots of happy memories.
Mums and Dads have to create the time to make those memories so the kids (your kids)
are heading in the right direction. Be there for your kids. Or else be ready to bail them out
of jail or get them out of hospital. Share some of your day with your kids. Every day. That’s
all good parents have to do and it’s not difficult.
“So it came from “on High” that the 10 Commandments were no longer enough. Modern,
chaotic living needs more rules to guide us. These 9 Precepts were written not on stone
but on soap. Follow them (as well as the original 10) for a wonderful, engaging,
meaningful life.
St. John de Farce (aka John A Wilson), August 2015, Gold Coast
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